How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
