i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
