I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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