So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
