So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
