We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
