i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
