On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Blood and glitter go together right?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
