GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
These tits shall not be calmed
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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