do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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