He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
