Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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