i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
