He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We need to rekindle our bromance
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
