first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize