Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
