thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
