yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
