who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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