i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
as a side note pls kill me
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
