I need to stop coming to work sober
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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