just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
