the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize