so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
