He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Watching her eat just hurts me
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
