I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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