Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize