I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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