guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i think i just lost a toe
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize