I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
