Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
The cops high fived after they tackled you
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize