so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize