hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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