Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
