More tranny stories later!
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
