I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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