I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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