Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
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