You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
