Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Randomize
