I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
