Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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