How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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