Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize