U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
why is half of my head shaved?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
