Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
