i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
