I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
