that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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