Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
