The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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