Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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