WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
