When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
