He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
