He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
