So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
