Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
