i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
