White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
