Someone shit on the floor
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
