Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He did a backflip because drugs
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
