i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
