I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
