He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
