She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
