R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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