she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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