you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
meet me or not, i'm out of control
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
