well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Everything about him screamed your future.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
