Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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