Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
