Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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