grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
