erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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