cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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